crumble

it was a long time ago that i left this one friend, 

myself.

every time i open this blog to put new things up, this blog reminds me that i do actually find and i do have myself with me. the stronger and the tougher one, hope so!

today, my life was crumbling. and it is still crumbling. oh Allah, i'm so weak that i don't even have that guts to continue on typing. but i know whatever it is, You are always here with me. I know, I was so far away from you. 

and today, i've been asking myself so hard, to just be strong in going through the first day of my life. I tried to find ways that I shouldn't be surrounded with the sorrow that I am feeling till now. I know people always sees me as someone that looks so strong, tough, cheerful. I'm glad to know that, but it's just so hard that at times. It was upside down.

It's true, sometimes the things that we always want will never come true. But why do people (certain of them) keep on denying the fact that 'it is never wrong to keep on trying and not giving up'? And at times, you just have to learn how to appreciate the littlest things that ever happen in your life and never ever, ever, ever put yourself in a situation that you are just a useless, helpless person on Earth. Never hurt someone else's feelings, it's so so bad and unforgiven. The one who loves you truly, who cares you completely is the one who you can never toy his/her feelings. When you realise that the same thing is happening again, you should always look again and judge. Maybe, it is your mistake that God has put you again on that situation that you need to learn and solve. Trying once or twice doesn't mean you solve something. Maybe an extra effort that counts.